Absence makes the heart grow fonder... yes?
Why, hello there blog followers! Yes, I know I've been gone for six months. Yes, I know I said I'd try to be more regular with these things. For this, I do apologize :) Time to get caught up!
To start, I am a follower of Marriage Today on Facebook. They are a Christian based marriage tip/advice page, and I normally get at least a little something from each of their posts. There was one recent post in particular that really hit home with me and I wanted to address it. It asked, "Have you ever been in a situation when a close friend or family member was considering divorce? How did you respond?" Well, as most of you know, I was that close friend or family member. Last summer, and about three years before that, Mark and I were in a very difficult spot. I had convinced myself myself that my best option at those two times was to leave my marriage. Thankfully, our marriage survived and we are doing extraordinarily better since, though it's still a work in progress. Anyway... I know firsthand how it is to feel "alienated" by those whom you thought were close friends. Last year, Mark confided in his friends about what he was going through when I thought I wanted to leave. That was a very hard time for him, and I've apologized profusely for what I put him through. In my defense, it is necessary to say that I was also hurting at that time, and I never intentionally set out to hurt Mark. I had spent so much time talking to my parents and a few select friends about what was going on that I didn't want to involve anyone else in my issues - unfortunately, this meant I was not talking to the same people that Mark was talking to, so those people were only hearing his side of things. Because of this, I can understand why they would view me in a negative light. However, that doesn't mean that harsh words don't hurt. As my friend Melissa put it (and I'm paraphrasing a little), "You have to be careful what you say in those situations, because you never know if they will stay together." Well said, Melissa. When you only hear one side, you don't give the other person a chance to stick up for themselves. When you talk trash on the other person, you don't realize the damage you are doing. So, some words of advice to those who are friends and family of someone who is considering divorce: Don't judge. Don't assume you know the whole story. Don't say things that could come back and bite you in the ass if the couple reconciles. Be supportive of both partners, and if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
That said, I take full responsibility for my actions. I learned from my mistakes, and I am happy to say that after having twice been down the "I want out" road, I gained a whole new perspective on my marriage and friendships.
In this month of giving thanks, I thank God for my new outlook on life. And I hope that you all have taken something away from this blog as well :)
Til next time,
Corinne
To start, I am a follower of Marriage Today on Facebook. They are a Christian based marriage tip/advice page, and I normally get at least a little something from each of their posts. There was one recent post in particular that really hit home with me and I wanted to address it. It asked, "Have you ever been in a situation when a close friend or family member was considering divorce? How did you respond?" Well, as most of you know, I was that close friend or family member. Last summer, and about three years before that, Mark and I were in a very difficult spot. I had convinced myself myself that my best option at those two times was to leave my marriage. Thankfully, our marriage survived and we are doing extraordinarily better since, though it's still a work in progress. Anyway... I know firsthand how it is to feel "alienated" by those whom you thought were close friends. Last year, Mark confided in his friends about what he was going through when I thought I wanted to leave. That was a very hard time for him, and I've apologized profusely for what I put him through. In my defense, it is necessary to say that I was also hurting at that time, and I never intentionally set out to hurt Mark. I had spent so much time talking to my parents and a few select friends about what was going on that I didn't want to involve anyone else in my issues - unfortunately, this meant I was not talking to the same people that Mark was talking to, so those people were only hearing his side of things. Because of this, I can understand why they would view me in a negative light. However, that doesn't mean that harsh words don't hurt. As my friend Melissa put it (and I'm paraphrasing a little), "You have to be careful what you say in those situations, because you never know if they will stay together." Well said, Melissa. When you only hear one side, you don't give the other person a chance to stick up for themselves. When you talk trash on the other person, you don't realize the damage you are doing. So, some words of advice to those who are friends and family of someone who is considering divorce: Don't judge. Don't assume you know the whole story. Don't say things that could come back and bite you in the ass if the couple reconciles. Be supportive of both partners, and if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
That said, I take full responsibility for my actions. I learned from my mistakes, and I am happy to say that after having twice been down the "I want out" road, I gained a whole new perspective on my marriage and friendships.
In this month of giving thanks, I thank God for my new outlook on life. And I hope that you all have taken something away from this blog as well :)
Til next time,
Corinne
Friendship is like wetting your pants.
Everyone can see it, but only you feel the warmth.
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